Because this is such a profound discovery, my immediate reflex is to give credit where credit is due, to Crystal Empath of WordPress, who led me to this source. Ultimate credit goes to someone I’ve come to find as an amazingly relatable, intelligent, well-informed and often humorous YouTube character, Richard Grannon. If you find casual profanity offensive you may not want to visit. I find his friend-to-friend professional advice well worth watching.
Grannon’s explanations travel a clear path for those who’ve suffered from a spouse or family’s Personality Disorder (PD) abuses, for healing, for getting better and for staying better. He helps identify, in plain terms, what we really face(d) versus what we thought we face(d) – how to react to that behavior when we are faced with it and simple methods for not being a victim of those behaviors again. Better yet, he offers easily understood healing mechanisms for how we might keep falling into harsh judgments of ourselves – and of others – that we don’t even realize we are carrying into other aspects of our lives.
Narcissism being tightly intertwined in PD “psychological warfare” and myself being three-years out of 20-years under it, I can personally attest that Grannon’s initial steps are absolutely necessary. He presents them with such simple, lighthearted clarity that his mere affirmations of what we already instinctively know, if only subliminally, are healing.
The more videos I watched the more I began to clearly understand – to literally see – how I’d reacted in the exact unhealthy ways Grannon described. Many are laid out right here on this blog in black & white, before ever knowing anything of him … e.g., becoming reclusive; seeking protective solitude; unrecognizable forces and hidden comforts in childhood guilt; and on and on and on. Posts here don’t scratch the surface. It doesn’t take a post named ‘PD Abuse’ to recognize how far reaching its tentacles are in one’s life.
Grannon’s methods for overcoming what can seem unending, haunting pain even years later is a revelation that I very much need. Identifying why I react so angrily when seemingly unrelated circumstances – and quickly finding my way back from those – is remarkably practical.
One of my favorite Grannon videos (so far) is “How To Take Revenge On A Narcissist” [chuckling], though not for quite so obvious reasons. I was indulging something I’d forbidden myself for years and he told me why. Oh, how I wish I knew this then. If you are still living in a narcissistically abusive relationship, I highly recommend that one. Regardless of the nature of your PD abuse, the video entitled “Don’t Run From Pain” (hence the title of this post) is absolutely critical – essential – to healing.
My WordPress Plan doesn’t allow for videos so I have to settle for Grannon’s links. I hope you will search him & watch the videos you find most relevant, from how to identify the personality disorder to how to deal with it; how to face the pain and, through that, how to make yourself whole again … and those are just the few I’ve watched so far.